


Bill Cipher's 3 Gum Challenge

by ReturnToZero



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: 5 Gum, Bill Cipher's 3 Gum Challenge, Bill is still Bill, Bill's got issues, Blacking-Out, But if you love Bill you already know he is a jerk most of the time, College AU, Dipper's patience running thin, F/F, Human!Bill, Just a bunch of shenanigans happen, M/M, Mentions of Stalking, Older!Dipper, Other, So yea, Social Media is Abused, Teasing???, This might end soon, Truth Or Dare Challenges, Underage Drinking, Unrequited Love, and I'll scrap all the weird background plot lines, angst????, bill being bill, jerk, no magic, seriously, since they were kinda useless anyways, that may or may not be inspired from my life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-13
Updated: 2016-01-19
Packaged: 2018-04-14 11:35:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4563072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReturnToZero/pseuds/ReturnToZero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Find the hottest person in the room and tweet their full name to twitter!</i><br/> </p><p>Bill Cipher was never the type to back down from a challenge, so when his gum wrapper requires him to find the hottest person in the room he drags #DipperPines into his game. Too bad his shit personality doesn't help him get any brownie points with the paranormal nerd.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Plan

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, I don't know what happened. 
> 
> I am trying to work on the other stories I have but this one just was like, **EVEN THOUGH YOU CAN'T FINISH ME YOU MUST SHARE ME.**
> 
> Uhm, so no promises on finishing this. It's just that the gum wrapper made me do it! It was too good of an opportunity! //cries//  
> This is just a drabble thing. Changed some names of things cause yeah, don't wanna deal with bad biz. Also I am not endorsing anything so plz don't buy the aptly named # Gum just cause Bill likes it.
> 
> (I HATE COBALT # Gum FYI)

\--3 Gum---

 

Bill Cipher was the big man on campus.

 

He seemed to have it all, the looks, the wit, the connections. Anything you needed, he could provide- for a price of course. Bill was also a very popular topic, as no one knew quite as much as they thought when it came to the eccentric blonde. Yet even as Bill dominated the social circles of college he was also famous for being enigmatic, disappearing often without a trace. Of course this led to all kinds of speculation but these kinds of theories Dipper could live without.

 

So when Dipper Pines went to HUM 115 for his Mythology II class he wasn't expecting a huge frenzy of people surrounding a desk nearby his usual spot. The room was unusually loud, as no one actually talked much beside the professor and those students who had burning questions (which was mainly Dipper).

 

The only voice that stood out the most was what he presumed to be the center of attention, who would randomly answer some questions and ignore others. Girls flocked to see him up close and whispered among themselves about how they thought he had the total package. Sometimes Bill would throw them a bone and whisper in a random girl's ear, earning squeals all around and the lucky girl nearly passing out from how 'sexy his voice was'.

 

Honestly, Dipper found the man's voice to be grating. How anyone could even find the annoying high-pitched cackles 'sexy' was beyond him.

 

But Dipper did his best to ignore the commotion, instead getting out his notebook and pens, skimming over last lectures' notes (cause let's be honest, he already knew them like the back of his hand) and getting ready to take detailed notes for this lecture. He had read ahead so he was more than prepared, but the professor seemed to have extra background knowledge that was always a joy to discover.

 

Professor Atlas threw Dipper a wave as he came into the lecture hall, surprised the crowd and easily dispersing it with putting down the screen for the projector. Students filled the seats and outside students that were most likely there for Bill either filtered out or loitered the backs of the rooms. As the instructor set up for lecture Dipper couldn't help but look over at the blonde that dropped into the class.

 

And no, don't think it was because he was actually interested or curious about the blonde enigma. We already established that Dipper physically could not care any less about that shit.

 

No, he turned because the other man was chewing gum loudly.

 

Now Dipper had nothing against gum chewers, he even liked to chew a stick of wintermint during tests to ease anxiety. But the fucker seemed to have no respect for anyone around him, obnoxiously smacking his lips and making sure to open and close his mouth to amplify the chewing noise. Dipper sighed and tried to calm down, grabbing his pen and furiously copying down the notes that flickered onto the board. He just had to get through this class and then he would go to office hours and talk with Atlas for more advice on the end of the quarter project.

 

It took a lot of willpower to not say anything to the blonde, so when the popping started he nearly lost it.

 

He spared the bubble-blowing idiot yet another glance, mentally cursing at him in every language he knew(although he only knew 2, he made sure to completely exhaust the vernacular for each tongue). Dipper should have known the guy would have been an asshole, _something_ had to be shitty about him. And what worse than a shitty personality. The brunette managed to regain his focus, barely managing to get everything off the slide before it changed. He felt his face heat up at hearing the soft muffled laugh a couple seats over, what was so funny? He dared not to look as giving the man anymore attention was the last thing he wanted to do.

 

Sadly, his curiosity got the better of him.

 

He leaned back, using his peripheral vision to try and innocuously investigate while avoiding blatant staring. Dipper didn’t want to give off the wrong idea after all. He could see the man staring at a freshly opened gum wrapper, popping a new stick into his mouth and stifling another laugh. The blonde turned, looking around the room and mumbling to himself.

 

Bill on the other hand was _VERY BUSY_ with something **_SUPER IMPORTANT_**.

 

His favorite gum (3 Gum in Cobalt) was doing this thing called **#TruthOrDare** and he was bored as fuck so he might as well do it. He had already had a blast doing the last 5 dares, one more couldn’t hurt.

 

But the dares on the newest stick were lame, with shit like _Twerk for no damn reason,_  and,  _Answer the next text you get by calling that person._

 

The only possibility left was to go with Truth, and boy it didn’t disappoint-

_Find the hottest person in the room and tweet their full name to Tweeter!_

 

He went straight to work, pulling out his cellphone and scanning the room. He would have simply put his own name down with a selfie but he felt adventurous today, who knows- maybe he’d actually find someone that was at least decent.

 

Dipper knew the longer this guy was here the more he hated him, the guy wasn't even taking any notes! Bill was obviously being rude, disrespectful and downright pretentious with his 'I don't care about this class' behavior. Dipper felt a wave of self righteousness come over him, Bill should be taking notes and trying to keep up with the class, not being a prick and contaminating the learning environment.

 

It seems Professor Atlas seemed to have the same thought, "Mr. Cipher, I know you are new to the class but I have a no cellphone policy. Would you be as so kind as to put it away for the rest of lecture?"

 

The class turned their attention to the blonde, who seemed to eat it up-

 

"Yeah well I was just gonna ask you about skipping this course anyways-I already know all this stuff so I'm thinking you should just sign this paper and get me outta here."

 

Professor Atlas gracefully received Bill's snark, "And I would be happy to discuss that with you in office hours, but you are still violating my no cellphone policy. Please put it away before I take it away."

 

Dipper felt a smile grow on his face, Professor Atlas was really _the **coolest**_ **-**

 

"Ouch! You're putting me on blast teach! Ha ha, well-it's no biggie, I know everyone has to have their occasional power trips."

 

"Excuse me?" Atlas swiftly replied, a bit of his Irish accent slipping out.

 

"You're validating yourself. Cause, ya know- those who can, do. Those who cannot, teach."

 

Before Atlas could ask the blonde student to leave Dipper felt his patience finally snap, "Don't talk to Professor Atlas like that! I know you're some natural genius and all but you need to really be quiet and learn some manners."

 

The blonde whipped his head around to look at the offender, but he didn't really seem surprised. In fact, the jerkwad actually smiled at him. One sapphire eye crinkled up in delight, a black eyepatch hiding the other.

 

"Hey, what's your name?" the blonde brought his cell into both hands, his eyes never leaving his as he typed on the screen.

 

"Will you leave if I tell you?" the paranormal enthusiast clenched his fists, feeling his nails dig into his palms.

 

The blonde merely nodded, a coy smirk sent his way that only managed to make his blood boil.

 

"My name's Dipper. Now go."

 

Bill stood, gracefully collecting his bag and his gum wrappers, sauntering over to the boy as he made his way out. Though not before getting one last jab in, placing a hand on his shoulder and leaning down, making sure his breath tickled Dipper's nape.

 

"Dipper what? I wanna know the full name of the pretty boy who decided to bark at me."

 

It took every ounce of self control for Dipper to not deck the man that was not only insulting him and his role model but also touching him way too friendly.

 

He let out a breath, no- he wouldn't get any more involved in this bullshit. It was bad enough that this was happening, and he just wanted it to be over already. Be the bigger person and all, blah blah blah. They had an audience as well, so it was best if he let it go and simply finish this whole mess.

 

"My name is Dipper Pines. Now leave me alone."

 

He found his resolve crumbling as he was pulled into an awkward hug, shock clearly written all over his face as the blonde male gave a menacing smile, "Oh, you are just too cute. I'll see you later, okay Pine Tree?"

 

Said Pine Tree felt his anger sear his skin, making him even redder than before, unable to do anything but watch as the menace sashayed away, typing away on his phone. Whispers erupted all around, and he mentally groaned, great- now everyone was going to read into this crap. All he could do was internally scream-

 

_**Fuck my life.** _

 

\---3 Gum---

 

Bill smiled as he typed in Pine Tree's full name into Tweeter, absolutely thrilled at meeting the nerdy college-kid. Coming here was starting to get boring, thankfully that cute firey sapling made himself known or else he might have just killed himself from boredom! He was also easy on the eyes, which only intrigued the blonde troublemaker. He rechecked his 3 Gum tweet, adding a shit-ton of heart and lovestruck emojis before posting it.

 

Bill constantly refreshed the page, ignoring the likes and comments by the boring plebeians, he just wanted a reaction from Pine Tree. Within 5 minutes Bill felt his patience running thin, how dare that stupid boy not reply?! He knew Pine Tree had a Tweeter, so he would definitely be notified of the tweet about him. The nerve of that loser!

 

Bill let out a breath, an airy laugh tumbling out with it- no, this was fine. If the little sapling was easy then he wouldn't be any fun.

 

Maybe he just needed to shake things up a bit more. His mind fell back to Atlas, and how Pine Tree was adamant on protecting his professor's dignity. A twisted smile unfurled as a dreadfully wonderful idea wormed its way into his mind.

  
He couldn't wait to see #DipperPines again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess if enough of you want more then I might be able to find the power and inspiration to finish this. Hope you liked it and crud. You know the drill.


	2. The Execution

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I seriously don't even know where to start with this Author's Note. Thanks so much for everyone who commented, it really surprised me that so many of y'all wanted more of this crapola that wasn't even that good of an idea to begin with LOL.
> 
> Also I was going to reply to each of you individually but then I got a bit nervous? Like I don't even know why? So I just decided to focus on finishing the little piece that got chopped off from the last chapter *evil snicker* But do know that seeing all the comments really did help motivate me to write more! (Sadly enough I even dreamnt about a particular scene in this chapter.) 
> 
> Unfortunately though, I am a bit worried about how the quality of the chapter is, so if it seems off please forgive me.
> 
> Again, no promises to finishing this and we'll see how far we can take Bill's gum challenge. ;o;

\---3 Gum---

 

After class Dipper made his way to Atlas' office hours, armed with a boatload of questions about the end-of-the-quarter project, already feeling so much better from being away from the attention of the class.

 

The boy hadn’t meant to cause a scene or draw unwanted attention to himself, but someone had to stand up to Cipher. Thankfully the rest of the class went by without any more interruptions and he made it out before anyone could try and corner him. He took a deep breath, quickly finding himself in front Atlas’ office, ready for another wonderful discussion with the professor-

 

His expression darkened as he entered the room, it seems like the universe thought he needed another whopping dose of asshole today.

 

There stood the incredibly annoying and obnoxious Bill Cipher in all his wretched glory, engaged with the professor with the same snark and pompous attitude from before. His stance read nothing short of ostentatious and arrogant, the slight waves in his golden locks only accentuating this fact. He was avant-garde with his fashion, made up of bright canary yellows and stone greys, heavily relying on accessories such as jewelry and a bow tie to glitz it up.

 

Before Dipper could even get a word in Professor Atlas stood from his desk, quickly closing a black folder and putting it into his desk, “Dipper! What a pleasant surprise, come with more questions on Echidna? Or maybe you would like to chat about the Erinyes.”

 

It was obvious from Atlas’ strained tone that he was thankful for Dipper’s arrival. The brunette felt a swell of pride, he always loved being able to help out his beloved professor, especially if it meant that he would be able to get rid of the blonde typhoon of a student.

 

“Those both sound lovely but I actually came with questions about the final project-”

 

The door behind him opens once again and the three look back at a young man that joins them, with a neutral expression and dark hair and eyes. He’s only slightly taller than Dipper, and by the looks of it he seems to be older, his arms full with copies of older paperbacks.

 

“I’m sorry to interrupt but, Where should I put these Atlas?”

 

Bill seems enthused at the arrival of their new guest, his eye gleaming knowingly. Atlas seemed to pale at the unexpected guest, his expression tight, “Would you kindly leave them by the display shelf, Jack?”

 

Jack nodded, diligently bringing in the books and carefully placing them so none fell and he returned to the door, “Anything else I can do for you, Atlas?”

 

“That’ll be all for now, boy-o. Thank ya.” Atlas clipped out, refusing to look at Jack.

 

The other man nodded and quietly left without another word, still as aloof and cool as ever, and the air became saturated with uneasiness. Dipper had the notion that Bill might have once again harassed his favorite professor, and the thought made him want to punch the blonde. Well, maybe not punch him, since he always wanted to do that-

 

It made him want to shove Bill into a bottomless pit, okay, no- he also wanted to do that at any given moment-

 

“So that’s Jack, huh? I can see why-”

 

Atlas’s hands gripped the edge of the table, his knuckles pressing in what seemed to be an uncomfortable tensed grip, his voice harsh and sharp-

 

“Cipher, this isn’t the time. Dipper was going to ask some questions-”

 

The blonde shot him a glare, seeming both offended at being interrupted and irritated by Atlas’ tone, “He has a right to know. Unless you’re scared he’ll-”

 

The professor tuned the man out, instead facing Dipper with an apologetic look, “I’m so sorry Dipper, ignore Cipher. I am afraid that we need to reschedule this for another time.”

 

Dipper nodded, not quite hearing anything as he fixates on the sudden distance between himself and Atlas. The instructor was usually very relaxed and easygoing, but it seemed Cipher had managed to get him into a high-strung position. Atlas was never this cold and terse, and it made him feel like he was just trying to get to know the professor again. Dipper felt a frown form on his face, damn Bill and his ability to _fucking ruin **everything**_. It seemed he was only able to draw the worst out of people.

 

The students made their way to the door, Dipper gripping the handle, “I’ll email you so we can find time to meet up, professor.”

 

Atlas simply made a noise of confirmation, busying himself with packing his bag. Dipper stepped out, walking off towards the exit of the building and hearing footsteps behind him. He could hear the rapid footfalls behind him that only seemed to be getting closer, the menace was hot on his heels. The fucker was even ballsy enough to _get close enough to step on the backs of his shoes_ , causing his pace to fumble.

 

Dipper was doing his best to once again ignore the problem. Cipher would have to leave him alone if he didn’t react. Just don’t react to him, pretend that he’s not even there and he’ll eventually leave-

 

“Don’t you wanna know what happened?” the male started, a faux-sweetness seeping into his words.

 

“I already know what happened in there Cipher. You harassed Professor Atlas again, and wasted my opportunity to ask my questions in office hours.”

 

The blonde tsked, getting touchy with Dipper again as he draped a toned arm across his shoulders. The brunette scowled, feeling patronized not only by the dismissal but also by having Cipher reassert that he was in fact taller. Dipper moved his arm and looked at the scratchiness that skittered across his knuckles-

 

Cipher had jammed himself to Pine Tree’s side, causing the golden glitter on his hideous cardigan to not only scratch but transfer onto Dipper’s hand(and sweater sleeve, and his freaking jeans had stray flecks too.)

 

Pine Tree was fuming while the blonde wore a proud grin, “I saved you from a real creep Pine Tree!”

 

“Professor Atlas is not a creep Cipher. I didn’t need anyone ‘saving’ me.” he gestured the bunny ears over the enunciation, quickly clenching the straps of his bag to quench some of his irritation (he also hoped that Bill found his elbow to be painful enough to peel away from him). All of this went unnoticed by the asshole in question, as instead he responded to the malicious Pine Tree with only bright smiles and a half-lidded gaze.

 

“Please, call me Bill.” the blonde cut in, sending him his best flirty wink (it was hard to wink when you only had one eye ya know).

 

Dipper rolled his eyes, trying to slip out from under Cipher’s grasp, mumbling, “Tch, I wish someone would save me from you…”

 

The troublemaker gasped dramatically, a hand coming over his heart and reigning in Dipper easily, “You wound me Pine Tree! That’s no way to treat a friend!”

 

“Dude, we are not friends. Why are you even following me around still?! Don’t you have better things to do?”

 

“Well, I’m just trying to be nice and have you as a pal, Pine Tree,” he pauses and glances over the boy with a semi-crazed expression, “And sure, I do have tons of other important things to do but I am particularly fascinated by you. It only seems natural for me to gravitate towards peculiarities.”

 

Looking into the lone dark blue iris makes Dipper shiver, and his instinct to run and hide flares up in distress.

 

He loses his nerve entirely, hoping he can shirk off the guy soon, “Uhm, I’ll...try and take that as a compliment. But uhh- we aren’t friends. And I actually would prefer it if you stopped bothering-”

 

Bill erupted into a fit of cackles, slapping his knee before clutching his stomach, unable to do much but fall victim to the laughter. Dipper felt his eyes twitch in response to the shrill noise, only a mother could love Bill’s laugh.

 

“Pine Tree, you are such a beauty.”

 

The way Bill said it made him flush.

 

It was actually nice. Bill was full of surprises, as Dipper would have never thought that the terror could express _sincerity_. He said it so easily, like it was a fucking fact, and it just made Dipper all kinds of flustered and confused; and Bill didn’t miss the color that bloomed on his ivory skin.

 

No, in fact he drank it up, a sly expression quickly tainting the innocent proclamation. Dipper shook off the embarrassment, instantly hating himself for allowing Bill’s **_stupid_** comment getting to him. The brunette managed to switch over to anger, yet his dignity was already lost due to the falter, “Sh-shut up.”

 

**_Great_** , now the slip-up was even more **obvious**.

 

Thankfully the blonde let it go, but something told Dipper that he wasn’t quite finished yet.

 

“I actually have something to tell you.”

 

Dipper only looked back at the man, internally sighing as sweet sweet relief came in the form of Bill finally taking a hint and giving him some space. He said nothing, prompting the other with his eyes instead.

 

“I, in the couple hours that I have met you and stalked your persona, have confirmed that I am infatuated with you.”

 

Dipper couldn’t even begin to describe how horrible that sentence sounded. Not only did Bill spit it out like it was perfectly normal to say that to someone you just met but he seemed so...detached. Like he was trying to rationalize the situation, as if this was something he had to solve on only logic alone. It was unnerving, to be frank.

 

“Usually I don’t deal with nuisances like relationships but I am bored, so care to play with me, Pine Tree?” his playful lilt returned but it failed to make the situation better.

 

The pair stared at each other for what felt like a minute before Dipper simply turned away, heading to the closest food place, “Bye.”

 

Bill quickly skittered after, clearly confused, “So is that a yes? Please say yes.”

 

When no response came he faltered, a hint of desperation in his voice, “I’ll give you whatever you want! You seem fun, and I promise you we’ll have a good time.”

 

Dipper used his lovely tactic of cold-shouldering Bill, instead trying to decide what he wanted for dinner. He already decided to hit Price Center for some grub, and narrowed down his dinner choices to either a orange-chicken panda bowl or a crispy chicken snack(extra spicy _please_ )-

 

“Dipper, just give me a chance, at least let me have one date!” the little devil insisted, sadness creeping into his voice.

 

He was satisfied with Bill's tone, he could already hear the defeat in his voice, it wouldn't be long before Cipher caved. Dipper was almost at the finish line, he could see Tap-Ex in view! And, luckily, no one was in line so he slowed down a bit and began to look for his wallet, patting his pockets and frowning. He thought back to when he last had it-

 

He pinched the bridge of his nose, he had it in his jacket, which he lent to his sister during their theater class. That was in the morning, so of course he didn’t have his wallet. Thank god he had actually checked before he waltzed up to the register-

 

“Give me a crispy chicken snack, extra spicy and an almond milk tea. Uhhhm...also put down a hazelnut boba milk tea. Oh and a calamari snack too.”

 

“Bill, no-”

 

A gold card came out and Bill paid for the order, taking the receipt and looping arms with Dipper, pulling him off to the side, “Just take the food Pine Tree. I know it’s your favorite, so just accept it.”

 

“I don’t want anything from you.”

 

“I already got it for you though. I demand a date as reimbursement.” the blonde was back to it already, smirking as he rested his chin on Dipper’s head, causing the smaller male to flush and shy away.

 

“Knock it off Cipher."

 

They continued to argue about Bill's reimbursement, the blonde insisting that they should go on a date while Dipper demanded to pay in any currency on Earth. ("Well in the prosperous town of Ciphertopia, we pay each other in kisses. You've never heard of Ciphertopia?! Tch, it's in New Jersey, famous for being perfect in every way.") He then corrected it to being able to only pay in legitimate currency that was accepted by the US.

 

Dipper was actually relieved when their order finally came, shoving the bags into Cipher's hands before storming away. Even though his stomach growled in protest he figured that this was his best option-

 

"Hey, where are you going?"

 

"If I don't accept the food then I owe you nothing, so enjoy eating for two!" the twin bolted, he was hungry, and irritated, and now he had to run so it would be great if Cipher would just take a hint already.

 

Instead the "natural genius" did the obvious thing and scooped up their drinks and fucking ran after him, shouting at the top of his lungs, "ACCEPT MY LOVE!"

 

So that's how they went, with Dipper yelling out _NO_ repeatedly and Bill screeching really crazy and obsessive statements of affection all the way to his apartment. They had tons of onlookers since the path to the apartments intersected the main path to all the classes, causing a bustle of gossip all around. Dipper nearly died from the embarrassment (he might as well toss himself in front of a car now), barely managing to dodge some cyclists before booking it up the stairs.

 

Pine Tree cursed, he contemplated trying to run randomly in hopes of not giving away his address but then figured that his stalker probably already knew where he lived if he was already memorizing his usual at Tap Ex. He took out his keys and shakily flipped out the main door key, ready to shove it in and get inside as quickly as possible. Bill was still a ways behind (thanks to those cyclists), wheezing and still somehow carrying their fucking food and drinks?!

 

Okay, Dipper had to admit, he was kinda impressed by that.

 

He slammed into the door, fumbling with the damn lock, the adrenaline making him miss the lock entirely but feeling the thing already giving way-

 

His twin had answered the door, ready to ask what his deal was but instead yelping as Dipper tried to push past her, "Close the door, close the door!"

 

His panicked voice must have worried Mabel as she was sort of paralyzed from shock, opening her mouth to ask-

 

"Hey! Why didn't you say we were heading to your place, babe? You made me run and get all sweaty before yum-yums."

 

Before Dipper could slam the door the bastard managed to squeeze his way in, the bags swinging from the ridiculous maneuver needed for such a feat. Mabel's eyes lit up, she obviously caught the 'babe' from before and giggled, her eyes darting back and forth between them-

 

"No, it's not-"

 

"Bro-bro, Why didn't you tell me you had a boyfriend?!"

 

Bill perked up at the title, a mischievous smirk forming, "Yeah babe, why haven't you told your sis about us?"

 

Mabel squealed and made way for the blonde, Dipper felt a headache forming from the sheer stupidity of the situation. His phone started suddenly blowing up with notifications, and he made the mistake of opening one.

 

And oh boy, was it a _FUCKING_ mistake.

 

Tons of pictures surfaced of the debacle, some just being complete blurs of a red and black figure being chased by a yellow and grey one-

 

Others were actually focused enough to capture them in a decent shot, a shame that they weren't at all photogenic while screaming and running. He felt like he was watching a train wreck, it was absolutely horrible but he couldn't peel his eyes away. His fingers seemed to also hate him too, as he continued swiping through photos and photos of their run through PC all the way to the Brennan Apartments. Apparently during their run Bill had actually thrown some of the food at him, as it was captured on film midair, which Dipper didn't even know happened.

 

And while stupid pictures of him weren't bad on their own, it was what was written in the captions and banners that made it a fucking mistake.

 

**_This folks, is modern love. #21stCenturyRomance_ **

 

_And here we have the majestic Deerper fleeing from a wild and ravenous Billasauros. #RaptorSquad2k15_

 

**I am so jealous! I wish I could have a love like theirs! #ForeverAlone #IloveyouBill #PLZnoticemesenpai #whenyourdreamsarecrushed #IhateyouDipperPines #Burnthatdamntree**

 

_These two are the future of America. God bless. #MyLifeIsComplete_

**_Accept his love god damn it, so he can stop doing that noise already! #WantsToSleep #INPEACE_ **

_Seeing these two being crazy was absolutely hilarious! What a duo, lol! #powercouple #maybenotpowercouple #causeDipperisntfamous #theyjustseemtofitinaweirdway #Ishipit #weneedashipnameforthem #BillDipper #Bipper???_

 

And those were some of the few that seemed to hit the top charts. Many other posts either had similar messages or simply commented on where they were when they saw the pair. It made Dipper want to never show his face out on campus. He never thought he would leave school or transfer, but those options seemed really appealing at the moment-

 

"So, how long have you been together?"

 

"Well, if you count when we first met then we've been together for a little over four hours."

 

Dipper started his breathing exercises. _In._ **Out.** _In._ **Out.** He then proceeded to get onto the floor slowly, face down as he touched the cool floor with his cheek and palms.

 

"Oh no, he's doing the thing."

 

"Wh-huf ting?" Bill asked through a mouthful of fried calamari.

 

"When he freaks out he just lies on the ground and mutters how he wants to be one with the earth."

 

Dipper isn't the praying type, but he prays that he can actually succeed this time, even if it did require a miracle. So when Bill gets the cute idea to not only sit on him and make it hard for his to whisper his pleas, but to take a selfie that managed to include both of them he knew he had hit rock bottom.

 

"Don't fret my little sapling, your connection with the earth will help make you a big and strong Pine Tree."

 

Dipper tried to scream but the weight of Bill made it sound lame and exasperated.

 

"Fuck you Cipher."

  
"Pine Tree! Not in front of your sister!" he laughs before dropping his voice, "Maybe later though, yeah?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So since I'm kinda winging this story I'mma let y'all decide, if you want more I will do my best to deliver! Thanks again for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> (Accept my apologies, as I feel both Dipper and Bill are just horrible in this chapter LOL)


	3. The Breakdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all are crazy! I can't believe that y'all really like this enough to rush in with comments! I can't even express how happy y'all have made me. *shit I am even getting a bit teary as I write this* 
> 
> And again I apologize for the long wait, BillDip week has been keeping me busy and I am also late on those oneshots as well. -m-' 
> 
> Also, shout out to parawhor3 for the Bill screeching love songs while sitting on Dipper, it was too perfect that I absolutely had to use it.
> 
> So without further ado, let's get on with the challenge!

\--- 3 Gum ---

Dipper didn’t think it was physically possible for him to hate his life any more than he had now.

 

Here he was, on the floor and trying to enjoy the coolness in contrast to his too warm body while this man-child was shrieking love songs as his bony ass dug into Dipper’s lower back. Mabel was no help either, barely able to breathe in between her hyena-laughter and trying to join the menace in his god-awful mating call.

 

Cipher seemed to have no knowledge of singing but boy, could he project his horrible off-tone voice. He single handedly bastardized various pop-song choruses, butchering love ballads with his sheer stupidity. Dipper was fairly certain the dumbass didn’t actually know much lyrics of any song, as he would trail off a bit or fumble with the words before skipping to another song entirely. In short, Dipper was in hell.

 

But Dipper wished he hadn’t said the first sentence in past tense, as he could feel Cipher switching to a dirty song and trying to grind his pelvic bone into his lower back, making sure to switch his weight from one side of the ischium to the other.

 

He probably jinxed himself with his earlier proclamation, the irony of his pain only that much funnier to some unknown person-

 

He says unknown person since there was no way some sort of higher-dimensional-being wasn’t able to see his predicament and not find cruel, cruel humor in it. They probably had some hand in bringing the damn situation to fruition, eager to only heighten his misery so they could get a kick out of it.

 

Well hardy-har-har, ain’t that just the greatest thing he’s ever thought up of. Now he better stop this tangent before he ruins the fabric of the universe with some meta-bullshit.

 

Thankfully the dumbass at least had enough mind to get off of him once he started moving to get up, happily sauntering over to the small dining table and awkwardly sitting as he set up their meal. At least the food was good, since TapEx actually remembered to cake on the spicy powder onto his fried chicken.

 

“So, I forgot to tell you- “

 

“No.”

 

“But I didn’t say anything.”

 

“It’s already bad and I already know I am going to be miserable if you ask me. And with my luck, I’ll be forced into it.”

 

Bill stayed silent for a long time, staring at the boy curiously, “Are you psychic?”

 

Dipper merely replied with a glare, shoving more food into his mouth and hoping that the dopamine that he would get from this meal would not be completely overrun by the reuptake of serotonin and secretion of cortisol. He saw Bill reach over and try to steal some of his chicken, instantly slapping his hand away-

 

Bill pouted, his sapphire eye glossy with an unshed tear, whining "But PINE TREE, I bought you the food!"

 

Dipper felt his entire persona darken at the statement, begrudgingly moving the bag to offer Cipher, "Fine, but don't take the small crips, I call dibs on them."

 

Bill leaned over, making no other move as a smirk appeared on his face, "Feed me Pine Tree."

 

Dipper was about to shriek before he realize the beautiful opportunity that had arisen, so he quietly took one of the wooden skewers from the bag and stabbed a piece that was thoroughly coated in chilli powder, "Fine. Say ahh."

 

Bill's bright expression at having Dipper conceed was actually kind of...adorable. (Not that Dipper would ever admit that, even if his life depended on it!!!)

 

He couldn't help but smile sweetly as the blonde eagerly opened his mouth and made the noise, easily popping in the chicken into his mouth and pulling the skewer once rosy pink lips closed around it. God, he hoped the rumors about Bill having a low tolerance for spice were true, or else he just lost a perfectly good piece of chicken.

 

Bill chewed thoughtfully, seeming to be pleased with the food-

 

But then a frown broke on his face, and he started sniffling, "Pine Tree! This is way too spicy for me! Ugh!"

 

Dipper saw the way his blue eye was now really teary from the powder, and he grabbed a napkin to blow his nose, and Dipper was _so fucking happy_. The brunette finally laughed, straight up laughed at Bill's intolerance for the hot powder. He was being evil but it was _justified_ since Bill had been a **jerk** to him _all **day**_. Dipper was laughing so hard that he had to curl up a bit, his side hurting as he gasped desperately for air. He really didn't think he would love it this much but he found it insanely difficult to stop his laughter, still giggling even as he put a hand to his mouth-

 

What he didn't expect was the small smile Bill gave him, how even through his glassy eye his gaze softened. Dipper felt a small twinge of embarrassment at the look, instead stabbing another piece, "Did you forget that I liked spicy stuff?"

 

"No, I just thought you needed a good laugh after that earth-thing you did." He calmly replied, seeming to finally recover from the spice-attack.

 

Dipper finally managed to gain control of his laughter, his good mood immediately dampened, of course his plan was so see-through. It seemed like nothing would ever truly go because he willed it, rolling his eyes when Bill finally speaks up, "Well I'm glad we converge on our sense of humor. Pain is _hilarious_ after all~"

 

"Not really, just your pain is amusing to me." Pine Tree coolly stated, munching happily on a crisp with a satisfied hum.

 

"Very funny Pine Tree, but we actually have to get down to business." His snark was right back again, and he seemed to be excited-

 

"I wasn't able to get out of HUM 115 for stupid reasons, so guess who needs a partner for the final project?!?"

 

Dipper screeched out, "NO!"

 

"Aw come on Pine Tree, I'll give you one more chance, but if you don't get it right I'll have to-"

 

Dipper didn't know what possessed him to scream at the top of his lungs but he was even surprised that he could even be that loud, "NO FUCKING WAY, NOPE! IM GOING TO DO THE PROJECT ALONE, SO GO FIND SOMEONE ELSE-"

 

Bill's evil smile seemed to grow with every decibel, batting his stupidly pretty eyelashes at him, "That's actually why I was at office hours today, to ask Professor Atlas for help! He said due to the odd number of students that there was only one person who didn't have a partner already."

 

Dipper sighed, knowing very well that he had taken up the assignment _alone_ so that Atlas wouldn't have to put a team of three and ruin the assignment. It was why he was actually very concerned with starting early, so he could have enough time to do his usual quality of work while still being within the deadline. Bill smiled brightly at him, resting his chin on a hand-

 

"You should really be thanking me, first I buy you food and now I’m going to help you with your work! I’m tempted to ask for a reward~"

 

Dipper had forgotten that Mabel was still in the apartment, huffing at hearing a muffled squeal come from the direction of her room.

 

"Bill, let me straighten some things first. One, I am NEVER going to go out with you, so LAY OFF. Two, we are NOT friends. Three, even though we are going to work on this project together I want to see you as little as possible. I can barely tolerate your presence, much less cooperate with it. And don’t even get me started on how much I really wished you’d fuck off already. Like seriously, don’t you have other friends that you can bother?! Cause don’t assume just cause you’re inexplicably famous means you can always have your way."

 

Dipper glanced over at the man, seeing the busted-up look on his face, the weight of his words causing the blonde to stare off with a pained look. Bill locked eyes with his once he registered the silence, his eye both surprised yet tinged with such a deep sorrow that it nearly broke Dipper’s heart. That expression melted into understanding on Bill’s face, before finally settling on aloof and strictly business persona-

 

"Fine, whatever. We should exchange contact info and we'll work on times to meet for the project, since Atlas does require team meetings as part of credit."

 

Dipper felt a chill run down his spine at the attitude change from Cipher, he hadn't expected Cipher to get surly so quickly. Maybe he had been too harsh? Oh shit, he probably was being a self-absorbed again and not remembering about others. (Wendy had always reminded him that was something he **_really_** needed to work on.) Fuck, now he felt like a dick and guilt bubbled into his throat.

 

"Okay then. Uhm, here-put in your number and email into my phone...Also I can uhm, buy food for the next meet up, since you paid this time..." Dipper mentally cursed himself at the lame tone he used, suddenly his meekness seemed to hinder his ability to talk to the guy.

 

Bill simply hummed, typing away on Dipper's phone before giving the brunette his phone, "See you later, or whatever.”

 

Dipper couldn’t even conjure up a response before the blonde threw away his trash and headed straight for the door, reaching for the nearest handle and swinging the door open-

 

“That’s the closet.”

 

Bill tries to maintain his anger, huffing and slamming the closet door, seeing the actual door directly adjacent to it, throwing that one open instead, “Okay, that spoiled my grand exit.”

 

Dipper sighed, getting up and following to the doorway, quietly urging him out while trying to smooth over Cipher’s fleeting anger, “Don’t worry, it happens alot.”

 

Bill said nothing, running a hand through his blonde side-swept bangs and began walking towards the stairs, “Whatever, later Pines.”

 

The way he spat out the good bye left a bad feeling with Dipper and he was at a loss.

 

He stared at his phone for a distraction, various social media still buzzing with all the hype about Bill and Dipper and wondering their exact relationship-

 

_I think they’re faking it. #FakeRelationships #JustForShow #AttentionWhores_

 

_**Never expected Dipper Pines to be so shallow. Do you think he’s a screamer? #SuchAWhore #EasyLay #WouldntMindHavingHimRideMe** _

 

**They disgust me. Please, do us all a favor and go die somewhere, fucking fags. #TheyDeserveToDie #NotAValidRelationship**

_I wonder how long Bill is gonna play with this one? Poor Dipper, he’s definitely in for it. #ThereIsNoLove #RunWhileYouCan #DontEvenTryToDenyIt_

 

**_They are probably not even friends. Dipper obviously doesn’t dig Cipher, and the other is manipulating him into a relationship.  #ObsessiveCrushes #Unhealthy #DoNotSupportThemPLZ #CipherDoesntHaveAHeart_ **

 

Dipper sighed, he was just so... **confused**.

 

The brunette sighed, heading to his room and wondering why Bill would even waste his time on him. He flopped onto his bed, pulling up his galaxy comforter and curled up-

 

_Maybe he should talk to **Ezio** about it._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Likes, Comments, and Bookmarks really fucking help y'all. They give me LIFE.
> 
> Also for an apology for a long wait I have something for y'all:
> 
>  
> 
> _Bill settles in their comfortable silence, focusing on all the sensations of the moment. The bus seat is a bit tight for him as his knees hit the back of the chair in front of them, and the movements of the bus force the blonde to sway. The lights on the bus buzz softly, as only a few people are on the bus at this hour. He turns to Dipper, ready to make another joke before he stops-_
> 
>  
> 
> _Dipper was leaning against the window, his neck craned in what looked to be an uncomfortable position, completely unaware of the world around him. Bill's expression softens, the boy must have been really tired if he was sleeping on the bus._
> 
>  
> 
> _He reaches out carefully, managing to position Dipper so he can use his shoulder to sleep on instead of the hard glass. Dipper stirs a bit, unconsciously nuzzling further into his neck and breathing warm air onto the tanned skin. Bill can't help but get goosebumps, and he flushes hard once he feels soft lips accidentally graze his neck. Pine Tree only makes matters worse by hugging his left arm, letting out a sigh as he finally settles against him._
> 
>  
> 
> _Bill stares at the boy with sheer adoration, his heart fluttering and flipping in his chest. He's never ever felt this way about anyone, and even though Dipper isn't even awake he can't help but want it to be true._
> 
>  __  
> Send me what you would hashtag if you saw this scene play out before you. I'll pick out a few to use for the next chapter and credit whatever name is associated with them. I'm excited to see how y'all react to the next chapter!


	4. I Don't Wanna Be In Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School has started again and I just landed a job here too so I apologize if my usually slow updates become morphed into semi-hiatuses. Also since there's no true direction for this fic I'm having a bit trouble with executing a sort of 'plot'. ***sweats***
> 
> Also, thank you to all of you who commented! It's really the only thing that has been keeping me together and motivated for this fic! (Also helps me get through rough days tbh ;o;) I wish I wasn't such a loser and too scared to answer them, but I will try harder to be more responsive!!!! 
> 
> A special thank you to _Okihiko-chan, poeticpines, Rose, Florthymist, and randomxbluexcookie_ for sending in Hashtags! I loved them all and I had so much fun creating situations to match them even better! uVu

\--- 3 Gum ---

    **Ezio** :  Let me get this straight, this guy in your HUM class is not only stalking you but also being an overall dick to you, and now you’re forced to be his partner in some big project for the class? And on top of that you might have hurt his feelings so he’s being a big man-baby about it?

 

 _Dipdop_ :  Yup. And he thinks he’s in love with me, and tried to strong-arm me into a relationship with him.

 

   **Ezio** : Wow. Just, Wow.

 

_Ezio is typing…_

 

    **Ezio** :  That sucks, really- but what you did kinda was uncalled for too. Like, usually you’re pretty cool-headed about these kinds of thing but you just kind of blew up on him? Like yeah he was being annoying and rude, but you just basically stooped to his level and decided to be a jerk.

 

 _Dipdop_ :  You think so? I guess I should definitely apologize.

 

    **Ezio** : Yeah, definitely. But you should also be pretty firm with this guy, lay out your boundaries and stuff, since future interactions aren’t really avoidable now.

 

 _Dipdop_ :  To be honest I just want to finish this project and be done with him.

 

    **Ezio** : Really? I actually think you should try to be friends with this guy. He made you laugh, and you know that’s a feat in itself.

 

 _Dipdop_ : Tch, as if. I laugh when you start using halloween puns, it really isn’t hard to break me.

 

  **Ezio** : No way man, you are totally unapproachable though! And anyways, you don’t find most jokes funny, you’ve got your own sense of humor that’s really hard to crack.

 

_Ezio is typing…_

 

   **Ezio** : Just give him a chance. He doesn’t seem like too bad of a guy. He probably is just a bit of a social awkward, you did say he was famous, right?

 

 _Dipdop_ : More like notorious…

 

    **Ezio** : Well, just take that into account, he’s been put on a pedestal so maybe he just needs help getting down. If he starts giving you problems then at least you can say you tried and no one can judge you for trying.

 

 _Dipdop_ : Why are you so good at giving advice? Like seriously, you are a saint.

 

    **Ezio** : Oh shut up! I am not, LOL! I guess that it’s good you think so though, I am studying to be a Psychologist.

 

Dipper smiled at his laptop screen, giddy from talking to his BFF **Ezio** and getting some feedback on the situation. They chatted online for another half hour before Dipper had to send his farewells, he did need to catch up on some rest after all.

 

    **Ezio** : Take care, and try not to let that guy get under your skin too much!

 

He was in the middle of his before-bed ritual of washing his face when he heard his phone vibrating on his desk, quickly going into the room to retrieve the thing. (The walls were crazy thin, so he needed to get his phone before the girls could complain about the noise.)

 

The bright screen alerted him of a new message from ♥Bill♥Cipher♥:

 

**Sorry about earlier today. I will try to be nicer to you from now on, and not push you past your comfort zone.**

 

Before Dipper could reply Bill was already sending him another message-

 

**How about we go to Fashion Valley tomorrow? There’s a bookshop there that we can grab some mythology books for the project.**

 

Dipper stares at the messages, unsure of how to reply. It was odd, Bill’s wording was weird, and he didn’t seem like the type to easily apologize so this was definitely unexpected. He sighed, maybe **Ezio** was right, maybe he should give Cipher a chance. He was probably just being quick to judge and that was definitely not something he liked to do.

 

_I’m sorry too, I probably should have not blown up on you like that. Forget all that mean stuff I said. We’re all cool now, okay? Are you talking about Zetta’s Books? I love that place, LOL._

 

Dipper hesitated in sending it, but decided it was good enough. He quickly added on-

 

_When do you wanna meet up?_

 

**Does 11 work for you? We’d have to take the bus, and the earliest one comes around 11:30. Zetta’s books is perfect in everyway, I just wished it was closer to us.**

 

_That’s fine. Yeah, but the one-hour ride isn’t too bad. Totally worth it for Zetta’s._

 

**LOL, true true. I gotta go to sleep so I’ll see you tomorrow then.**

  


_Good night then, and text me if anything changes._

 

Dipper smiled, now relieved that the little bump in the road was smoothed out. Bill was more tolerable through messaging, but he couldn’t help but feel it was more detached than usual. And he kinda liked how expressive the blonde was, made it easier to listen.

 

The boy finished up his nightly routine before falling into his galaxy sheets once again, easily falling into dreamland.

 

\---3 Gum---

 

Dipper was so embarrassed!

 

He was being _stupid_ and **forgot** to put an alarm before going to bed, so when Bill was texting him if he was already at the stop he had barely gotten clean clothes on.

 

_I woke up a bit late so we might have to catch the next bus._

 

**No worries, I’ve heard it’s hard to wake up when you’re dreaming of me ;)**

 

Dipper scoffed, rolling his eyes as he typed a reply before brushing his teeth-

 

_Are you sure you aren’t referring to nightmares? Cause I am sure I had nothing but good dreams last night since you weren’t there._

**Awww, you wound me! Ha ha, fine, I’ll let it go just this once, but you know you don’t have to be shy around me ;) <3**

 

As much as Dipper wanted to be disgusted he actually was pretty indifferent to the flirting. (Hell it was even kinda funny, cause Cipher was _pretty bad at it._ ) He made haste though, he was already late enough and he didn’t want to seem like too much of a slacker. After checking himself once more in the mirror and grabbing the navy blue pea coat, deciding to part with his trademark hat for a fluffier look.

 

Right as he was leaving he was suddenly assaulted by a blue and white scarf, unable to move forward due to his assailant holding him back-

 

“It’s supposed to be pretty chilly today, so you should wear your Pines Scarf that your amazing sister made for you~!” she cooed, loving to mention that she had in fact made the scarf.

 

Dipper laughed, easily wrapping it in a semi lazy fashion, which only seemed to compliment his bed hair, “Okay Mabes. We are gonna have movie night though, right? I don’t wanna order two pizzas and then have you bail on me the last moment.”

 

Mabel proudly nods, “My night is all clear Dip, so just focus on doing work and then coming home to have a buttload of fun!”

 

Dipper smiles, even though he wasn’t much of a morning person his sister never seemed to run out of energy regardless of the time. She always managed to get him a bit less grumpy in the morning, which in turn made everyone’s lives better (Bless her rainbow-colored sequined soul).

 

The late male blanched as he saw the time, deciding to forego the elevator and take the stairs instead-

 

**Incoming call: ♥Bill♥Cipher♥**

 

“H-Hello?” Dipper bit his lip, that came out a bit more pathetic that he had expected, especially since he knew who was calling.

 

“Pine Tree! When are you getting here? I am tired of standing and it’s getting cold!”

 

Dipper rolled his eyes, making a scoffing noise, “Please tell me you brought a jacket-”

 

“Well I had stepped out earlier today and it was sunny and it even looked like it was going to be hot-”

 

“Just shut up Cipher. I am almost there, dude- Are you seriously wearing shorts?” Dipper yelled out, now that Bill was in seeing range he could help but want to ditch the line as soon as possible. (Cipher sounded so...weird on the phone, since there was a creepy high pitched echo whenever Bill would speak.)

 

Bill turned at the exclamation, waving his hand wildly and Dipper was afraid it would fall off with how much he was moving it, “Pine Tree! I was going to ask you to lend me one of your jackets-”

 

Dipper scoffed, “But I just got here.”

 

Bill pouted, “But you made me wait here all alone. You are 33 minutes and 25 seconds late.”

 

Dipper groaned, hearing Bill’s playful tone dip into something more..serious? Like he was trying to threaten him while still sounding all dandy and getting some freakish mix instead. It was unnerving so Dipper handed Cipher his bag before turning back towards his apartment, already regretting this stupid meeting.

 

When Dipper returned Bill was flitting about during his wait, holding Dipper’s bag on one arm and his on the other, his teeth chattering like he was getting frostbite. When Dipper saw his unhappy expression he decided that maybe Cipher really was cold, and maybe he shouldn’t have taken his sweet time with retrieving the jacket and scarf that Mabel had unloaded onto him.

 

“Sorry-” he didn’t even finish as Cipher ignored the perfectly good clothes that were being offered.

 

No, instead he began unbuttoning Dipper’s coat, easily twirling the scarf off of him and ripping the coziness that Dipper had made for himself.

 

“Hey! I was wearing that!” He shrieked, the cold air biting at his once safe skin and making him despise Cipher a little more. Bill simply ignored him, abandoning their bags onto the pavement in favor of instead hugging the stolen pea coat to his body, moaning at the warmth that seeped into his sun-kissed skin. Dipper grumbled and pulled on the oversized sweater from Mabel, which had a cute green alien on it and a galaxy scarf to continue with the space theme.

 

Bill made sure to cover his neck well, tucking in the ends of the scarf into the coat and happily heading to the stop. But before turning he made sure to give Dipper an unabashed once over, smirking, “That’s really adorable on you. And it suits you better than this chic pea coat, you are a little nerd afterall.”

 

Bill laughs heartily, picking up their bags and Dipper can’t even muster a response, much too offended by Bill’s comment to even come up with something witty, so he simply takes his bag and lets the annoyance seep into his expression. They chat about a lot of nothing before finally getting on the bus, and Dipper laughs as Bill unfortunately crams his long legs into the seat closest to the window, completely trapped by the wall and the seat in front of him.

 

The blonde takes it gracefully though, smiling as Dipper takes the seat next to him and even goes as far as to stick a leg out into the aisle, since no one is there when the bus is in motion.

 

Again their conversation resumes but it’s...friendly. Dipper even gets moments to do most of the talking and Cipher nods along, his eyes focused on his words.

 

Dipper feels fear clench his heart though, as he isn’t sure anymore. Dipper is known to bore people when he talks too much, and he’s afraid that Cipher is nodding and staring but really he’s just acting along.

 

Dipper hadn’t realized he had stopped talking mid-sentence and Bill frowns-

 

“Uhm, Dipper?”

 

Dipper suddenly feels embarrassed again, just like he did all those years ago. Everytime he tried to open up he would be proud, only to find out they weren’t even listening-

 

“Pine Tree, what happened to the Gobblewonker?”

 

Dipper finally snaps out of the depression spell that had come over him, surprised that Bill knew what the monster was called ( _So was he listening? Or was it simply a lucky guess. Gobblewonker does stand out a bit so I guess it wouldn’t really be that much of a stretch to remember it-_ ).

 

“Cmon, you can’t just lead me on and then drop me like that!” Bill gave him a somewhat annoyed look and Dipper felt like he could _finally breathe_ -

 

But now, when he had finally had the chance to be heard, he couldn’t help but feel _bashful_.

 

“Well, we just figured out it wasn’t actually real. I-It was uhm, a f-fake, ya know, like it was man-made, for attention.”

 

Dipper hated how his voice had become so soft and timid, a clear indicator that he was flustered and obviously down-playing the story. Bill only offered an even softer smile in response, “Really? Like did you knock on it or something?”

 

Dipper laughs nervously, trying not to freak out over the fact that this conversation hadn’t ended yet, “Yeah, it made a weird noise and then we ended up figuring out that someone was inside, controlling it.”

 

Bill laughed and patted his arm, signaling this to be their stop, “Sounds like something out of the movies to be honest. But I wouldn’t mind having something like that, it’s pretty cool actually.”

 

Dipper made his way off, Bill noting how he had suddenly clammed up, wondering if he had done something wrong to set the boy on edge. Dipper was getting more and more reserved, so he decided to back off a bit and talk about meaningless things, like how he liked pretzels and if they were even going the right way to Zetta’s.

 

But once Dipper had found himself inside the store with the smell of coffee and books, he eased up somewhat, but the smile from this morning had still evaded Dipper’s rosy lips. They had been talking fine one minute and then all of a sudden Dipper seemed to be closing up and getting all reserved. Bill had thought they were really making progress but now he wasn’t so sure.

 

He supposed that maybe he had done something wrong? He had listened to the advice about being attentive but not obsessive and to give the boy his space but now seeing himself fall two steps back really annoyed him.

 

As they perused the tall dark oak shelves for mythology books Bill decided it was time to impress Dipper with his knowledge of various lore-

 

“Bill, everyone knows that Siren songs brought men to their deaths.”

 

“I was just warming you up. Have you ever heard of the Leshi?”

 

At this Dipper raises an eyebrow, “The Leshi?”

 

Bill can’t help but smile, “Yes, the cheeky wood spirit from Slavic mythology. I like them cause they take people back to their caves and-”

 

The blonde lurches forward and immediately digs his fingers into Dipper’s sides, “Tickles them to death!”

 

Dipper immediately shudders and shies away from his touch, his mouth twisting into a smile as laugher comes out (albeit unnaturally but hey, Bill was glad that Dipper was at least ticklish). He squirms and Bill only continues to pursue, unable to hold back the mischievous smile from managing to get Dipper to laugh.

 

Ah that laugh, which somehow restored Bill’s hope in humanity.

 

He knew he was falling hard for the paranormal nerd, but he couldn’t care less when it came to hearing that laugh, seeing the boy smile (even if it was because he was tickling him and not because of actually being amused).

 

“Stop! I will hit you so hard-”

 

And Bill backed away, his hands up by his ears in a gesture of surrender and innocence.

 

“Hey Pine Tree, I think we should plan out a couple of things before we dive into research, like which creature we will be focusing on and trying to move from there.”

 

Dipper nodded, still recovering from the earlier assault, “Sounds good. Wanna maybe grab a coffee and we’ll sit and brainstorm?”

 

The pair made their way to the indoor cafe, and when Bill started trying to pronounce all the menu items in not only a funny voice but all kinds of foreign accents? Dipper couldn’t stop the laughter erupting from his lungs, struggling to find air. Also the girl at the register trying to flirt with Bill was pretty hilarious, especially since Bill completely missed it and was too busy still trying to make Dipper laugh.

 

As Bill was trying to decide what pastry should be inserted into his face Dipper noted that Bill was actually not that bad of a guy. He was a person with flaws too, but everyone held him in such high esteem that he might have been a bit harsh on the guy.

 

Bill had picked out an Irish Creme with a lemon bar, a couple of raspberry tarts and a bear claw, before finally turning to Dipper, “Hey, what do you want? Also you’re picking this up since I paid last time.”

 

Dipper blanched at the thought of having to feed this black hole but nodded, picking out only a small Mocha Bianca and a croissant with strawberries, cream and nutella. He paid with his card and they managed to find a table for two before Bill was back up to his usual antics again-

 

“Bill, if you want some of my croissant you could just ask instead of trying to take some while I’m not looking.”

 

The blonde laughed, “That’s no fun Pine Tree, I have to hone my skills as a ninja anyways! You’re good at keeping an eye on your food though, you’re probably my toughest opponent yet!”

 

Dipper rolls his eyes, suddenly motivated to be a bit playful, quickly cutting a piece off his plate and stabbing it, offering, “You’ll never win, so just say ah.”

 

Bill seemed to be caught off guard but he gracefully reacted, leaning forward and saying ah, taking the bite and savoring the sweetness that erupted on his tongue, and the swell of joy that came with Dipper feeding him. He licked his lips, “I didn’t know this was a study date~”

 

And Dipper stared blankly at him for a moment before simply standing and walking away, “Pine Tree, no- don’t leave! I’m sorry!”

 

Dipper did a dramatic turn, “Calm down dumbass, I’m just going to start grabbing some books for research. We still have a project to work on afterall. I don’t you to think this is some sort of date afterall.”

 

Bill’s face soured only for a moment before his smile returned, “Of course, make sure to grab some books about the Leshi though, ok?”

 

Dipper rolled his eyes and spun on his heel, “Yeah, whatever.”

 

Dipper humored the guy for a moment before being legitimately surprised that Bill wasn’t lying, and there was in fact a cheeky wood spirit named The Leshi that would indeed tickle his victims to death. It was hard to contain his laughter about how to ward such a spirit off, and then he grabbed a few more books on Slavic Mythology before returning to their table

 

They dove into all kinds of research, hoping to be able to grasp everything they could about the Leshi and its lore.

 

\---3 Gum---

 

Dipper hadn’t realized how late it had become, so he led them both back to the bus stop and waited for their ride back.

 

He smiled as he held a heavy bag full of books, some which would aid in the project and a couple that were simply for leisure. Bill had (thankfully) split the cost of the books, and he had a membership card that gave them a hefty discount, even going as far to insist on Dipper picking up a couple more books for himself so he could take advantage of the sales.

 

The paranormal nerd was never one to be a spendthrift, but when Bill had pulled off a book that was at the top of his wishlist he couldn’t help but give in (thankfully he still had money to last him for groceries, he would just have to give up buying chips for the entire month).

 

Today had been surprisingly...fun. Dipper sighed at the thought, sparing his partner a glance as he searched for the right words-

 

“Hey, Bill?” he began, making sure to maintain steady eye contact with those lovely sapphire gems.

 

“Yes, Dipper?” Bill replied, his voice oh so obviously filled with hope and expectations of something more, Dipper didn’t blame him though, everything seemed to be going just like those silly rom coms Mabel loved to watch.

 

“Your fly’s down.”

 

Bill gave him a look, obviously knowing that Dipper was trying to mess with him, but he broke eye contact just to be sure-

 

“Fucking, really?” Bill forced out, realizing that Dipper indeed was telling the truth and hastily fixing the problem. Dipper laughed at the other man, and Bill saw how his gaze softened, obviously returning to what he was going to say earlier-

 

Only to open his mouth and be interrupted by the bus arriving.

 

Their sweet moment was ruined, as Dipper had switched gears and instead began to get on the bus. Bill wanted to scream and kick the nearest trashcan but he knew it would be pointless, so he quietly followed after, tucking the memory into his mind. He already knew he was going to stay up late just thinking about Dipper, might as well give it a bit more substance and make it a mystery- _I can dream up tons of possible scenarios at least._

 

Dipper yawns, graciously taking the window seat and trying to get comfortable in what little space was between them-

 

All the while Bill was already mulling over the huge **what if** about those unsaid words. Like, what if Dipper was trying to ask him out and got scared?! Fuck, no stop- it was probably nothing, **_but he would never know for sure though!_**

 

“Today was fun, Bill.”

 

The blonde is snapped out of his thoughts and he turns to Dipper, completely caught off guard with the statement. And again, Dipper has that sweet look from before, that easily expresses a lightheartedness that makes heat rush to Bill’s face. He feels his lips twitch into a smile-

 

“Oh! Uhm, yeah- I agree.” he lamely replies, nearly wanting to kick himself for such a dumb reply.

 

Brown eyes avert towards the window, still calm and pleased regardless of Bill’s dumb answer, “We should do it again sometime.”

 

“Well, I think we have enough material for research from this one trip-”

 

Dipper laughs, sending Bill another glance and leaning slightly onto the glass, “No, I mean we should just go out again. For fun. I usually don’t like the mall and this kind of stuff but it was surprisingly pleasant.”

 

Bill can’t stop his face from glowing bright red, “O-OF COURSE PINE TREE! Uhhhm, If you don’t mind I mean.”

 

Dipper closes his eyes, a playful smirk curling onto his lovely lips, “I suggested it, loser. We can plan it later though. Although this is fun, it is draining.”

 

The blonde struggles with words, and easily falls back into his own thoughts, only humming softly to end their conversation. His heart and mind are in disarray, as he wonders if Dipper is simply being nice or that maybe- _there was hope for his affections afterall?_ No, he wouldn’t think about that right now.

 

He needed to try and be satisfied with being Dipper’s friend. Friends didn’t plan out how to get with each other and be all gross and possessive and-

 

Bill took a breath, clearing that train of thought entirely of his mind.

 

_Be in the moment Bill. Think rationally, and stop hoping- **STOP HOPING FOR SOMETHING MORE.**_

 

Bill settles in their comfortable silence, focusing on all the sensations of the moment. The bus seat is a bit tight for him as his knees hit the back of the chair in front of them, and the movements of the bus force the blonde to sway. The lights on the bus buzz softly, as only a few people are on the bus at this hour. He turns to Dipper, ready to make a joke before he stops-

 

Dipper was leaning against the window, his neck craned in what looked to be an uncomfortable position, completely unaware of the world around him. Bill's expression softens, the boy must have been really tired if he was sleeping on the bus.

 

He reaches out carefully, managing to position Dipper so he can use his shoulder to sleep on instead of the hard glass. Dipper stirs a bit, unconsciously nuzzling further into his neck and breathing warm air onto the tanned skin. Bill can't help but get goosebumps, and he flushes hard once he feels soft lips accidentally graze his neck. Pine Tree only makes matters worse by hugging his left arm, letting out a sigh as he finally settles against him.

 

Bill stares at the boy with sheer adoration, his heart fluttering and flipping in his chest. He's never ever felt this way about anyone, and even though Dipper isn't even awake he can't help but want it to be true.

 

He's never wanted something, no-someone so much in his life. He wishes that he can just hold onto him tight and never let go, to finally just love someone and _make them happy_.

 

(He knows that this was only a moment though, that he would never be able to hold onto Dipper. Bill was never strong enough to have someone close, he always lost his grip because he knew being close would only cause more trouble.)

 

His heart does the flippy-thing again and he nearly wants to cry, cause everything was both wonderful and terrible all at once. And usually he hated it, would reject it and find it easy to leave behind.

 

Bill had always valued distance over closeness, detachment over intimacy. It was the only rational thing to do, to prevent anything horrible from happening to him (again).

 

But he already knew he was hopeless. He manages to spare the gorgeous boy beside him another glance, this time full of despair-

 

He settled for pressing a soft kiss to his forehead, managing to also pick up on Pine Tree's scent; which is appropriately an earthy scent with a sting of mint, whispering into his hair-

 

“I wish I didn’t love you.”

 

\---3 Gum---

 

Mabel grabs her phone, furiously checking her Tweeter for a picture she was sure she had posted! It was one of the few pics she had with her bro-bro, as he hated taking pictures. She thinks about when they had taken it- It had been the most recent summer at the shack, right before they entered their second year.

 

Her eyes widen, she had taken it on Dipper’s phone! She must have also mistakenly posted it to Dipper’s Tweeter also. Mabel’s fingers were as deft as lighting, easily navigating over to Dipper’s page and opening up his albums.

 

She was surprised to see so many new pics up, but they were in the ‘Tagged In’ photos rather than his uploads, which explained why she probably missed all of them. She began to filter through the most recent photos-

 

The first was absolutely adorable, apparently that guy that claimed to be Dipper’s boyfriend (she thinks his name was Billy or something) was on the bus with Dipper, lending him a shoulder to sleep on.

 

The poster had managed to sneak a photo that showed them from the front, giving her such a sweet scene that looked straight from a romcom. The blonde was giving Dipper the most love-struck look she had ever seen, and it was obvious that he was hurting his back just so Dipper could be comfortable on their ride.

 

**#FuckYeahI’mWitnessingSomeFullBlownGayShitRightHere #YouGoGuys #AtleastSomeoneInThisDeadBeatBusKnowsSomeRomance #AmIRight**

 

Her heart warmed at seeing the next picture, someone from behind caught a picture of Bill pressing his lips to Dipper’s forehead, some of the brown curls tickling his nose as his eyes were shut. It was a bit harder to see his expression from this angle but she could only assume it was painted with as much adoration as the one before it-

 

_#OMG #PDA #Suchcuties #TheyAreAPreciousPair #Bipper2k15_

 

And another shot from behind also revealed Cipher even sneaking an arm around Pine Tree, lightly resting into his hair and making sure Dipper’s head was against him. Mabel could only assume from the light blur of the picture that they might have hit a rough patch in the road-

 

_**#bipper2015 #cutecouplecuddles #romancedoneRIGHT #fluffydreamerdipper #awwsocute** _

 

Mabel really loved the pictures, and she always did think a photo was worth a thousand words. She scrolled to the next photo and saw the pair just outside of Dipper’s favorite pretzel place, and boy, was this one telling a story.

 

Dipper’s eyes were obviously on a girl, her twin even went as far as to turn so he could continue his gawking, completely unaware of the jealousy brewing across from him. If looks could kill that nameless girl would be dead ten times over, with absolutely no mercy from Bill. His blue eye was narrowed at the female, disdain dripping from every feature. And even with the scowl and the bitterness, the blonde was still gorgeous.

 

**#Bipper2016 #I’mJealousButAfraid #HotbutCrazy #WhatDreamsAreMadeOf**

 

She flitted over to Bill’s page, seeing a post from the morning-

 

The video showed Bill sliding right into place next to Dipper reading, Zetta’s raven logo in the background as Bill lifted up his phone in a selfie position with a goofy smile and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Dipper only glanced over at the camera for a moment before making the ugliest face he could manage, making sure to make himself look as unflattering as possible.

 

Bill began hollering with laughter, “You realize this is a video, right?”

 

Dipper immediately flushes and scowls, “What- no!”

 

Soon the camera got blurry as Bill managed to get up and begin to run as a faint ‘BILL DELETE IT’ heard in the background, and Bill spoke to the camera in a low voice as he wildly weaved and avoided the boy-

 

“Okay so I did that since the gum dared me to get someone to scream my name.”

 

With one last thumbs up Bill let himself be found, a hand popping up from behind and wrapping around his neck and yanking him down, only for the video to end.

 

_**#dontbesuchatsundere #dippersdirtyside #billdipintheirnaturalhabitat #YouKnowYouLoveMePineTree #RelationshipGoals #BillCipher’s3GumChallenge #3GumTruthOrDare** _

 

Mabel could see that Bill was obviously head-over-heels for Dipper, but her bro-bro didn’t seem to reciprocate at all. She sighed, it was a shame really, Billy was definitely cute and they seemed to make a good pair. (It had been so long since she had seen Dipper this playful with anyone, and the idea of her brother finally opening up made her hopeful). She frowned, wait- Bill Cipher's 3 Gum Challenge? What did that even mean? She followed the tag and laughed at all the dumb and crazy things Bill did, which had made the eccentric socialite even more notorious on campus.

 

A lightbulb went off in her head and she smiled, maybe Dipper just needed a _push in the right direction_.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any hashtags you want to see in the story just leave them in the comments and I will do my best to incorporate them into the fic! Comments, bookmarks, and kudos are love and remind me that this fic is in fact something people think is worth reading LOL.
> 
>  
> 
> ***peace out y'all***


	5. Mistakes Were Made

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sweats* Yeah...sorry about the long wait (again). I really do want to like this fic but in all honesty I don't. It's difficult for me to write and I constantly hate how Bill is and I feel like my characterization is completely off. A lot of you seem to really enjoy it though, and y'all sending in hashtags makes me so happy an excited that I can't help but want to continue this though. So yeah, this is my lame excuse for a long hiatus.
> 
> Special thanks to Angel_of_Mysteries, booksandanime, Criminals_code, Cyanide_Cipher, kbilnzmrzx, and Morgan for sending in hashes! Please feel free to send in more and hopefully you'll get to see yours in the fic! (also I might save the hashes for later parts of the story, so don't get discouraged if yours don't get in right away ewe)
> 
> Also if you haven't already, please follow me at [StagnantLover](%E2%80%9Dstagnantlover.tumblr.com%E2%80%9D) and [Zetta](%E2%80%9Dletmeshipinpeace.tumblr.com%E2%80%9D)

Chapter 5: Mistakes Were Made

 

Bill groaned, feeling a stiffness settle into his muscles as he finally came to, and being uncomfortably warm where he was. He felt a slight headache knocking on the front of his skull and his eyes barely managing to stay open as he tried to take in his surroundings-

 

He was in a bed. 

 

He didn’t recognize the room, so most likely he crashed at someone else’s place. Posters littered the wall closest to him and half the ceiling, from lots of bands(which were most likely indie or underground as he couldn’t place any of them), sci-fi movies, and generally paranormal themes. 

 

There was another cozy bed across from them, neat and untouched (most likely the other occupant was out). There was a string of little black lantern lights that decorated the wall, followed by pitch black woodsy decals. There were a couple of music-related items on the furthest corner, like a clarinet and a saxophone, a sousaphone, and a tuba (ironically enough). 

 

Bill also noticed a pair of desks beside each other, but he didn’t feel like inspecting them too much, all he could surmise was lots of clutter and notebooks and school paraphilia. 

 

Once his eyes adjusted to the light he felt more confident in moving-

 

But found himself unable to move.

 

A pair of arms held him back, and the person beside him grunted, holding him tighter now-

 

“Mmmn, nooo…” Dipper quietly protested. 

 

Bill felt his face burn even more at the implication of the situation, wondering how this ended up so badly. Embarrassment drove the blonde to try and shimmy his way out of Pine Tree’s grasp but instead he failed miserably, only managing to drive himself into an even more uncomfortable position while the boy clings to him. 

 

“Pine Tree, let go.” he whisper-shouts.

 

“Warm. Stay.” is the (tired) caveman answer Pine Tree gives.

 

Bill huffs but tries not to shriek as he feels skin brush against his bare leg,  _ he had fucking forgotten that he was wearing shorts. _ With further inspection, he also noted that these weren’t his shorts, as they were appropriate for sleeping rather than the chino shorts he had on yesterday.

 

Dipper allows him to only shift a bit more, but making sure that the taller man’s back is pressed to his chest. Bill shudders when he feels Dipper settle into the nape of his neck, his warm breath brushing past, only able to lift some of the ends of his blonde hair. 

 

The blonde knows he’s trapped and that moving is gonna be useless. He does enjoy the comforter though, with the galaxy print and the underside being soft and pleasing to touch. 

 

Bill decides that if he’s already doomed to be stuck being the little spoon he might as well try and figure out how much he remembers from the night before, praying that he doesn’t recall anything too shameful...

 

\---9:25pm, The night before---

 

While Dipper was on his way back home with his potential love interest Mabel was out preparing for not only Friday Movie Night but also Bill Cipher’s 3 Gum Challenge-

 

“So here’s how it’s gonna boil down, I rifled through the gum wrappers and since most of them come with multiple truth or dares on them I separated them into a truth and a dare pile. We’ll take turns picking people and asking them Truth or Dare. After a random pick the person has to decide either to do the truth or dare or to take a shot.”

 

The party people nod but the quiet is quickly broken when Pacifica adds, “Wait, can I add another rule?”

 

“Depends on what it is Paz.”

 

“Dipper can’t avoid the game by just drinking. Like, the last time we did this he got wasted and that was more embarrassing to deal with.”

 

Dipper flushes and scoffs, trying to ignore Bill’s high-pitched laughter, “I won’t do that this time, okay? And I took a lot so it’s not like I was a light weight or anything…”

 

Bill finally calms down and sees everyone’s phones out in a circle between them, “But this is for my gum challenge, right?”

 

Mabel nods, “Yup! So we’ll actually be recording the truth or dares that are performed and uploading them to Tweeter. So get ready to get wrecked!”

 

The room was quiet for a moment, with everyone staring at everyone else, and Mabel being the only one in the room that was excited. 

 

“Someone should go first.” she supplied.

 

Again, Mabel’s comment is met with an awkward silence and everyone looking around avoidantly.

 

She sighs, “Fine, I’ll go first and then we’ll move clockwise.”

 

She pulls a paper from the hat-

 

_ Truth: Who makes you nervous? _

 

She announces what’s written on the paper and frowns a bit, “No one really makes me nervous, if anything I am the one who makes everyone nervous-”

 

Mabel notices Paz already following her with her phone and flushes a bit, “I guess Paz used to make me a bit nervous, uhm- cause it seemed like she didn’t really like me. And she death-glared me when I moved in late during freshman year.”

 

The group laughs and Paz quickly defends herself, “I wasn’t death-glaring you! I was tired and stressed from the move and then you came out of nowhere and I didn’t want to be in the way!”

 

Pacifica huffs and quickly leans over to give Mabel a hug, unable to see the slight color that blooms onto her cheeks at the sudden affection before taking a slip of paper.

 

_ Dare: Run ice down someone’s spine. _

 

She smirks but doesn’t announce her dare, instead going to the fridge to get ice, and Dipper records her-

 

“So, why do you need ice Pacifica?”

 

She ignores Dipper’s comment, grabbing a couple of cubes in one hand before quickly moving behind him and lifting up his shirt-

 

“Aah! What the fuck Pacifica? That was fucking cold!” Dipper yelps out, unable to keep the filming steady as he tries to get away from her cold assault.

 

“I had to rub ice down someone’s spine, I just thought that you’d be an easy target.”

 

Bill is snickering and Dipper can’t help but feel not only cold but betrayed. He grumbles and reaches into the hat and scans the paper for his task-

 

_ Dare: Ask your mom if she believes in aliens. _

 

Dipper is laughing before he can even announce his dare, going for his phone and trying to compose himself before the dial tone ends. “Hey, mom? Like, I know it’s late but I have to warn you before it’s too late! I was doing some research a-and, no Mom this is serious! They’re coming mom!”

 

Bill is trying not to bust a rib with how hard his lungs are spasming, using the scarf he stole from Pine tree to muffle his wild, hysterical laughter-

 

“Mom, ok let me ask you, do you believe in...aliens? Cause if you don’t then I need you to just trust me on this! Mom, they’re real! And they’re coming! Please just, wear the aluminum foil hats from now on, okay?”

 

Mabel cracks up, her laughter so loud that Dipper is sure his mother can hear it too, and once that comes over his mom sighs, already catching onto their little prank. 

  
“Sorry Ma, go to bed and be careful, ok? We still aren’t sure if there are or aren’t aliens, so let’s just stay on the safe side.”

 

His mother laughs at their on going joke and tells them to get some rest and stop fooling around. Dipper finishes his goodbye before hanging up, gesturing for Bill to take his turn-

 

_ Truth: When do you feel most alive? _

 

Bill stared down at the piece of paper, his expression slipping into something a bit more somber. 

 

It was a good question, to be honest- but he really had no idea how to answer it. 

 

The rest of the room seemed to catch onto the souring mood, and Mabel quickly took her phone to start recording-

 

“What does it say?” Dipper speaks up, leaning over as his imagination threatens him from within.

 

“Well, it’s asking when I feel most alive. I...I dunno really. Like I have a moment in mind but I think this is asking for something more general-”

 

Dipper nods and waits quietly for an answer, and Mabel makes a gesture for Bill to hurry up-

 

“I guess, when I’m by myself in a really secluded part of nature. Just, existing and enjoying being here. Or when I’m standing up really high after a hike and the wind is blowing hard. There’s just something so powerful about it, and I can’t really describe it…”

 

Bill flushes and tries to laugh it off, “Uhm, yeah, so I am done, sorry if it was lame.”

 

The blonde barely manages to maintain control of the heat to his face when he catches Pine Tree giving him a starry-eyed look and whole-heartedly agreeing with his answer, even going as far as to assure him that it wasn't lame at all. 

 

Mabel pulls the next one-

 

_ Dare: Shout out the name of the person you love. _

 

She hisses and tries to not get too caught up in thinking about her crush, instead making a motion for Bill to pass her one of the bottles of alcohol-

 

The group immediately seizes control of the paper and try to figure out why she refuses to answer such a dare-

 

“I can’t.” and she leaves it at that, tipping her head back to take a shot of Patron.

 

And at this point of the night Bill remembers everyone avoiding their truths and dares with shots of various alcohols. (If he counted right, and no one was sneaking drinks then he had about three shots, Dipper had four and the girls both had two.) Everyone was trying to outdo the other in terms of ‘strongest drinker’ so they mainly took from Patron and Jagermeister rather than the softer Malibu.

 

Pacifica laughs and in her drunken haze, dumps out the contents of her purse- 

_  
Truth: What’s the strangest thing you carry in your wallet? Upload a pic of it to Tweeter.  
_

 

“Well, I found a tampon in here, so I guess that works? Unless…” she rummages around a bit more and pulls out a small key chain of a fluffy being with googly eyes and a little beak, somewhat reminiscent of a Furby.

 

“Mabel gave this to me, so I always have it on me.”

 

She snaps a picture to upload it and soon Bill is recording Dipper, watching him carefully pick out a paper from the pile.

 

Dipper scowls at the truth he pulled-

 

_ Truth: What part of your body sweats the most? _

 

“I’d rather just take a shot and spare y’all the horror.” he starts, takes a shot of Captain Morgan and crumples the paper. (Whether or not Dipper was doing it to avoid the dare or to get intoxicated, no one could tell, but Mabel notes it so that Dipper can’t go down 

 

Bill sighs and takes a slip of paper and tries to contain his joy-

 

_ Dare: Give this to someone else and fill it in: Go to the ____ and ____ loudly. _

 

“I’d rather not write it down so I will tell you what you gotta do, ok?”

 

The group give him a confused look but wait for his clarification, “Okay so, Dipper, you need to go to the balcony and uhmmm...give a lapdance loudly!”

 

The girls laugh and Dipper starts trying to get out of it-

 

“Cmon Dipper! I’ll just be for a little bit! And I promise we won’t videotape this one-”

 

Bill laughs and tries desperately to remember whether or not Dipper went through with it (cause again, he has no idea).

 

Something inside him tells him that he must have though, cause then the group progressed as usual, and Mabel tried another one of the papers-

 

_ Truth: If you could automatically be good at something, what would it be? _

 

Mabel opens her mouth to answer-

 

Bill sighs, okay he can’t really remember a lot from last night it seems.

 

He remembers taking a drink from Paz, who apparently was dubbed the ‘bartender’ since she actually had some experience with mixing drinks. She hands him a cup with lots of cranberry juice and when he asks what it is she replies with, “Don’t worry about it. That is literally what the drink is called.”

 

Bill remembers asking her what’s in it but he can’t remember whether or not he actually got an answer.

 

But then, his memory jumps to Dipper and him trying to do this thing called Bachata? It was a dance, but Dipper wasn’t very coordinated at the moment, and to be honest Bill wasn’t either. So they were a giggling, stumbling mess, which the girls (hopefully) didn’t record- 

 

_ Somehow _ he recalls Dipper sitting on his lap as they go through some of the responses and hashtags coming up. He recalls some of them, since Dipper had been scrolling through them pretty quickly-

 

“ _ #BipperOTP2k15? #relationshipsdoneright?  _ What the fuck is this?” Dipper started, looking a bit appalled at the supplied hashtags, “Oh wait, look at these ones-”

 

Dipper gave his best impression of a girl, it coming out kinda nasally and squeakier than Bill had expected, “ Okay,  **_#meonoutside #theyrejustfriends #dontshiprealpplguys #meoninside #BIPPERisLOVE #givememoreBipper  #AllAboardTheSSBipper_ ** !” 

 

The brunette starts laughing like crazy, nearly dropping his phone as he leans against Bill for support, and the girls seem to be egging Dipper on-

 

“So, you aren’t with him?” Paz asks dubiously, seeing as their set-up was implying something else entirely.

 

“Nah! He’s just my partner for a project. Seriously though, Bipper? That’s what they call us? Disgusting.” Dipper pouts, opting to instead return to burning the hashes vocally (cause we all know he would never actually confront them online).

 

“Oh yeah? Entertain this thought-experiment; say that you and Bill were together, and they still called the ship Bipper. Would you change it?” Mabel slurred out, they had long abandoned the Truth or Dare game and instead opted to do whatever stupid shit came to mind. 

 

“Of course.” Dipper huffed out. 

 

Bill could only laugh as Dipper continued cursing out the dreaded ‘Bipper’ label. 

 

The blonde felt the liquid courage in his blood, and coupled with his curiosity and boldness he had to continue, “So what would you call our ship?”

 

Dipper scoffed, “I dunno, gimme a minute-”

 

And that’s where the night ended for Bill.

 

The blonde struggles and struggles to remember what else he can but it’s simply out of his grasp. Instead, he decides that he should inspect the room again, and he finds his phone on a nearby nightstand, charging. He smiles and (thankfully) reaches the phone, unplugging it with one hand and seeing what  _ horrors _ were pasted last night-

 

Not much beyond his gum challenge was on Tweeter, and apparently Dipper  _ had _ gone through with giving him a lapdance to the song “Good For You” and screaming along. Bill cursed, he really did wish he could’ve remember that part, but at least he had evidence of it. 

 

There were just a couple more truths and dares after that but that was the end of it.

 

He nearly sighed with relief, until he saw over 50 notifications on his snapchat.

 

Then, _ he was fucking  _ **_sweating bullets_ ** . 

 

Apparently, Pacifica thought it was easier to post all their debauchery and idiocy on snapchat, taking videos and such. The blonde was already starting to feel uneasy(he really hopes it’s not queasiness from the hangover), but he couldn’t stifle the curiosity. He made sure his phone volume wasn’t too loud, but even so it seemed that Dipper was dead to the world.

 

He clicked the first video from  **MysterysAndBooks** (aka Dipper)-

 

Bill was on camera, shoveling down Doritos like crazy, but kinda laughing at the same time? Bill was going on and on about, “Doritos are so GOOD! Like, SO GOOD! I WOULD FUCK A DORITO IF I COULD. FUCK, I-” And then Bill starts choking on the spicy tortilla chips, and he’s dying and all you can do is hear everyone laughing in the background-

 

“I inhaled a Dorito! I inhaled a fucking Dorito! Ha hahahahaha!”

 

And that was the end of it. Dipper’s sense of humor required the banner,  _ #DeathByDoritos #InhalingDoritos #BillWantsToFuckDoritos _ .

 

**_Bill wanted to die already and he’s only seen one of the videos._ **

 

**GlitterRainbowsAndUnicorns** (Mabel) also sent him a couple of snaps, the first one is of Dipper and him-

 

“Mabel, no I don’t wanna do this!” Pine Tree whines, while Bill is awkwardly standing in the shot beside him. 

 

“You never want to do anything Dipdop! Cmon and just do it, you made me and Paz kiss, so you guys gotta do it too!”

 

Dipper groans, “Fine, you should be glad I feel bad for making it awkward for you two.”

 

Bill simply waits for Dipper to face him, and they take a moment to collect themselves, before Dipper places a hand on Bill’s neck, pulling him down so they can start getting closer. Bill tilts his head a bit, and offers a shy smile and Dipper starts laughing-

 

“Oh god, don’t do that!” Pine Tree yells, his voice jumping to a pretty high octave.

 

“I’m not doing anything!” Bill complains, and manages to keep a hold on Dipper, not letting up even as the shorter male struggles.

 

Dipper turns his face towards the camera and boy, _ is he blushing  _ **_hard_ ** . The poor embarrassed boy seems to be unable to keep it together-

 

“You’re smiling! It’s weird and it’s making this more intimate than it needs to be!”

 

Bill laughs and hugs Pine Tree tighter, and unfortunately the snap cuts off there. Bill finds himself both relieved and sad that the kiss didn’t seem to happen, but instead continues forward-

 

The next one is a snap with just Dipper alone at their granite island, Dipper is on his phone and scarfing down some croutons-

 

“So bro-bro, you never finished naming your ship!”

 

Dipper shrugs, “So? It’s not real so it’s kinda pointless.”

 

“But they still call you and Bill’s ship Bipper, even if it isn’t real! Cmon, maybe you can at least get it to something you like.”

 

Dipper scowls at the mention of ‘Bipper’, “You’ve kinda got a point.”

 

He looks straight into the camera and laughs, “Ok, why not...Chip and Dip?”

 

“What?! Chip and Dip? Like I get Dip, but how is Bill chip?”

 

“He said he’d fuck a dorito.” Dipper is trying to stop his laughter from coming out, “And he inhaled a Dorito, so I’mma always associate chips with him.”

 

Mabel is dying and the camera is shaking with her convulsions, and Dipper adds, “Or maybe like something with our last names, cause Cipher is a pretty wicked last name and I wouldn’t mind taking it.”

 

Mabel gasps, “YOU’RE GONNA TAKE HIS LAST NAME IF HE MARRIES YOU?!”

 

Dipper is bright red once again at the implication, “N-NO! I JUST THINK IT’S A COOL NAME.”

 

The snap ends but it’s followed by three images flashing through, Bill kissing Dipper’s cheek and the banner reading  _ #CipherPines _ , Dipper kissing Bill’s cheek with  **#ChipAndDip** , and the final one of them in an lip-lock featuring  **_#LetsGetThisOnAShirt_ ** .

 

Bill wants to scream and he clicks through the last snap to skip it, quickly going back and screenshotting all of those photos, fuck consequences,  _ HE KISSED DIPPER AND THEY HAVE SHIP NAMES TO GO WITH IT. _ His heart was fluttering and he felt like throwing up (but not really), and he couldn’t help but want to squirm and die.

 

Dipper huffs and lightly headbutts him and Bill feels a thrill run down his spine, and he goes still so he can return to his snapchat.

 

The last one from Mabel features them once again-

 

Bill is carrying Dipper bridal style, and Pine Tree is laughing and trying not to fall, “Don’t you dare drop me! I will kill you if you do!”

 

Bill simply promises not to before he carries him into Dipper’s bedroom, trying to toss him onto the bed, which has Dipper shrieking but also pulling him into bed with him, “C’mere Billy, don’t leave me alone in bed!”

 

The banner the whole time read  **_#Gayobliviousness #Gaythoughtsareintheair #Theyareperfectandnoonecantellmeotherwise_ ** . 

 

Well, at least he knew that he had Mabel’s blessing. 

 

Moving onto PazNorthwest(Pacifica) snaps apparently they had gone down to the market, and Bill had been holding Dipper’s hand-

 

“I don’t wanna lose you Dipdop!”

 

“Fuck you Bill, you just wanna be an ass and not let me buy the croutons!”

 

“Eat some Doritos instead.”

 

“Bill, no, I don’t want Doritos! Croutons are toasted bread, and it’s healthier for you! So instead of Doritos you should eat Croutons.”

 

The next was Dipper drinking a Pit-Cola and walking with Bill (still holding his hand). Bill tried to slip a hand around Dipper’s waist which got Dipper to dump the rest of his soda onto Bill’s shorts, mainly aiming for the crotch area. Bill immediately cursed, letting go and trying to get away-

 

“Damn it Pine Tree, THESE WERE EXPENSIVE!” 

 

Dipper seems to not give a shit, “I’ll clean them for you, just stop screaming or the RAs are gonna come over.”

 

So that explains his outfit change. He sees swarms of images of them together during that late-night run, taken by passer-bys and with various tags like:

 

_ #WellWellWellDipper #FinallyCipherHasSettledDown #Can’tHelpButNotShip _

 

He finds a picture on Tweeter where he, with his still soiled shorts, managing to hug Dipper close and they both are smiling like a bunch of dorks. The tags read:

 

**_#CheckItOut #BillHasAHeart #Relationshipissues_ **

 

Bill sits in a comfortable silence after that, being tired of checking his phone and instead opting to exist in the moment. Dipper is still clinging to him, warm and his bed actually smelling strangely sweet as Bill takes a few slow breaths. He likes it to be honest, not at all his style but it’s cozy and definitely representative of Dipper. 

 

If he was being honest, he really wanted that moment to never end, so that he wouldn’t have to wake up to the reality of Dipper not actually liking him back. They would just stay there, with Dipper holding onto him like he was the best thing in the world, blissfully still and actually content with having Bill close.

 

Bill decides to take a picture of Dipper in his sleep, typing out a  **_#IhatethatIloveyou_ ** before scrapping the entire post and returning to stillness.

 

Dipper finally wakes, and releases Bill from his hold, yawning cutely and rubbing his eyes, “Mmmnnn what time is it?”

 

“It’s uhmm, 10:40am.” Bill supplies quietly.

 

Bill tries not to squeal when he sees how disheveled the boy looks, and notices that he’s also got on shorts but no shirt, trying to commit as much of his slender physique to his memory as possible. He snorts when he sees a drool stain dried on Dipper’s cheek and Dipper is still giving zero shits-

 

“Feel free to use the shower and steal some of my clothes. I’mma make eggs and bacon so if you want some then you can have.” he groggily replies, pushing against Bill and quietly urging him to get out of his bed.

 

Bill gets the message and freshens up, quickly getting ready and taking some of Dipper’s clothes for the road. He also thanks Mabel for the new toothbrush she provides, and washes away the alcohol and chip-filled breath from the night before. 

 

The smell of eggs, bacon and something else fills the air and he can’t help but rush to the kitchen to see what Dipper is whipping up-

 

Dipper seemed to be getting a bit more creative, as he also whips up some bacon-pancakes for them, and Paz loops around him to get plates, cups and the like. The girls and Bill enjoy Dipper’s lovely breakfast while Dipper leaves to shower and Bill tries to get him to stay and eat-

 

“Dipper usually has a bad stomach the day after he drinks, so he can’t eat till like a couple hours from now. Like every time he tries he always throws up, so it’s better for him to just take a long shower and hold off on food.”

 

Bill nods and chats with the girls, checking their social media and trying to piece together the craziness of the night before. (The girls gush over how cute Bill and Dipper are in most of their photos and videos, and Bill can’t help but feel a pang of uneasiness enter his chest.)

 

Ultimately, Bill bids them all a farewell and heads home, and sprawls out on the couch. His best friend Pyronica finds him first, already well aware of how most of his night went and comforts the loser in his unrequited love.

 

Once his shower is finished and he barely manages to get his pants on Dipper hears a little chirp from his phone and he checks Tweeter-

 

Bill’s on the floor, clutching his stomach with the caption:

**_#FoodPoisoingCauseDipperCooked_ **

 

Dipper decides to respond with a photo of his own, flipping off the camera with a smile;

_ #FuckYouCipher  #YouLovedIt #SeeifIMakeAnythingForYouNextTime #UngratefulAss _

  
That smile falls when he sees how many mistakes he made last night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I am looking for a beta! Especially since I feel like I make a lot of mistakes/ grammatical errors, awkward phrasing etc. I think it would be useful for some fresh eyes to comb over my work and help me polish it a bit more. Also I might even bounce off a few ideas to my beta, so in a sense they can possibly also influence the storyline and ultimately help me with my thinking process.
> 
> It can be for this story or for my other fic _Who Needs A Knight When You Have A Freaking Dragon_ so if you're interested, send me a message at [StagnantLover](%E2%80%9Dstagnantlover.tumblr.com%E2%80%9D) and I'll see if we are a good fit!
> 
> Kudos, Comments, and Bookmarks really make me believe in this story, so if you want more then that's the way to get me to continue!

**Author's Note:**

> I guess if enough of you want more then I might be able to find the power and inspiration to finish this. Hope you liked it and crud. You know the drill.


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